~~Tired~~

I know I said I was going to be faithful in this blog stuff, but being a ful time mommy is hard. . . LOL We did get home from the hospital last Wednesday on antibiotics for 4 weeks, due to a spot showing on his heart during his ECHO. Doctor's aren't sure if it is vegitation or a shadow, so we treat it as vegitation.

I slept like crap last night. Waylon slept with me last night and wanted me to explain why his intestines twisted. Great huh! So I finished telling him that story - again- and we cuddled and said goodnight and he said "when I die and become and angel, I'm going to come back and talk to Jeffrey all the time, and he will be able to hear me." How's a momma supposed to sleep well after that? I just laid there and cried. He just turned over and went to sleep. It just breaks my heart that he accepts all of this so eaisily. And me, I wish I could just KILL someone on a daily basis!!

I hate feeling like that, I know it isn't healthy for me, and it doesn't make me a "happy" mom for the boys, but I haven't figured out how to work through it yet.